Last updated on April 22nd,1999
Copyright (C) 1998/1999 by Nada AbiSamra.
https://members.tripod.com/Nadabs/Homepage.htm
Who made me discover love ? Is it you ? No ! it is you ! No , no
it is them ! It is nobody. Yes nobody but my soul . Looking for perfection
, you don’t stop fighting to get what tou want .
“Don’t you get tired ?” , I asked my soul .
“Never ! I existed from the beginning of life , from
Love I came , in God I existed and to him I shall go back “ , my soul answered
.
“After all these years that you spent searching for Love ,
did you , at least , find something that goes with your idealism ?”
“I am not in this world to find Love but to put it in and
to defend it against the spirit of this world “ , acclaimed my soul.
“Dear soul , who are you ? I feel like you want to leave me
, exploding and running away from my cruelty . I believe it is the cruelty
of my earthly thoughts , actions....
Am I right ?
Tell me !
Why aren’t you answering me?”
“I cannot tell you everything ! You will not realize the things
I am aware of . I have no answer now , but this much I can say : in the
time , you will discover so many treasures of knowledge that only I can
lead you to “
“I never thought that you had so much pride !”
“It is not pride , it is the gap between the concrete and
the holy “
“How couldn’t you be conceited when you talk about your holiness
?”
“When the All Mighty created me , from his hands I came out
, and his blessing I had and power against evil he gave me . I am not holy
myself but it is in my God that I am holy because he is Holiness
.”
“You are very wise !”
“Whoever asks for the light of the Lord , he shall get it
“
“What do you do all day and all night long ?”
“I wander “
“Please , elucidate what you mean by wandering”
“I go to people to offer them my love , if they refuse me
, I go to others and others .Somehow , nobody accepts me , that is why
I wander , not knowing where to go further . Mankind refuses my aspiration
; it thinks of me as an old and an unexisting truth.”
“It seems to me like you are hurt “
“I am always in the hands of sorrow even when I feel
joy invading me . Yes ! sorrow because in pain I can be conscious of the
satisfaction of perfection for which I long .”
“What a contradiction !”
“Yes , indeed , but this is the touch of God that makes everything
weird in a way or another.”
“What did you see in life ?”
“I saw everything : glory , power , wealth , beauty , art
, business , work , labor , poverty , weakness , love , hatred , life and
death .”
“Love?”
“Even though it is rare , I found it ; otherwise, life would
not continue . But unfortunately it was not mine .”
“What do you want to do now ?”
“I must go away , fly between the clouds , in the sky , above
the sea , around the sun , under the moon . Dear man , do not forget :
I am Love itself and nobody can change me , I may love myself but
I could never hate ....
If someone asks you about LOVE , tell them that Eternal Love exists
; nobody can love a person and hate them after ; otherwise , he did
not love them at all ! I am and I will be here forever till the end of
times, with my grief I will sow love and happiness . Wait till you see
, from God I will inhale strength and power to have my mission done .
It is time to go , since I am Love and Love is a bird that needs
to fly here and there , but before I leave , I will tell you this prayer
: God , give me , before I die , the most noble and perfect love , the
love of work and pain which was waiting for people from the beginning of
times on the boards of destiny.”
“Who made me discover Love ? I am still wondering . But as if I
were talking to someone about this ! I do not remember . It must be an
illusion , to whom could I talk ?
One day I will know how , till then , let me do this......
The Soul : “All that I said was in vain , men cannot understand it
. It is better like that ?
In spite of all this , I was , I am and I will always be the Wandering
Soul ! “
I am ....
Sitting alone at night , I was thinking of myself , of what I am
doing , what I am studying , what my purposes are ...To hit the point ,
I was asking myself one simple question . This question is familiar to
everyone of us , it does concern the deepest side of a person’s life .
Did you guess it ? If not , I will proceed ; If we do not have an answer
to this question , we cannot have a real life aiming at a certain point
. This question defines the whole of the human being .
This question is : “WHO AM I “
Yes indeed ! Who am I ? Do you think that somebody can tell me ?
Do you think I have the answer ? Or am I hiding the answer on purpose from
myself ? What is the “ ME “ ?
What does it mean to be a human being ? In what does it differ from
an animal ? Is it the same ? Who created me ? Why ? What am I doing in
this life ? Do I have a role to play in my society ? Which definition can
we give to the soul ? Is it an integral part of the of the person’s existence
? To what does it aspire ? What is love ? Why does it exist ? Do we use
it ? Do we buy it ? From where ? Is it expensive or cheap ? Does it end
? When ? Tomorrow ? The day after tomorrow ? In one month ? In one year
? In 10 years ? Never ? Love is it a need ? Does it lead to happiness ?
What is HAPPINESS ? Can we find it ? Is it hard to get it ? How can we
have it ? Is it by being rich ? Is it by being poor ? Is it by giving ?
Giving what ? Who is my Brother ? What is the kind of relation existing
between him and me ? Is there a need to share ? With whom ? What is SHARING
? Is it a mutual giving ? Is it a link between each other ? Can I be a
part of the other ? WHO AM I ?
Too many questions for too many reasons .
That’s it for tonight !